Not Just a Man's World

Please forgive me for going a little bit off-topic today. 

I went to my ten year reunion at University last weekend.  When the invitation first landed on the doormat I must admit to briefly feeling quite old, but I couldn’t pass up on an opportunity to see old friends and acquaintances that I haven’t seen for seven years (unusually the dating relates to when we started at University, not when we left).

It was lovely to see everyone again but talking to everyone really made me think about the way we choose and control our own futures as we grow up.

A springtime reunion

Your twenties – a time to learn about yourself and your future

While still at school and university you don’t really have any clear idea of your future.  You may think you do and I was quite certain I did.  The problem is that you haven’t actually rolled your sleeves up and got stuck into the business of living in the real world.  You don’t know what it is really like.

Many people find that once they start working out in the real world the area they thought would be their perfect niche is not a good fit for them.  Many people spend their twenties moving about between jobs (and often incorporating a year or two of travelling abroad) trying different things and finding something that fits with what they want.  One of my friends took one route, thought it wasn’t right, tried something different and found along the way that actually their first choice was the right one all along.

Your twenties seem to be the time to learn what you want, try different things and investigate different paths in life.  For most it is also a time of emotional upheaval, moving between different relationships, finding the right person to spend the future with as part of that exploration process. 

The body and mind seem well adapted to help you handle this period of physical and mental exploration.  Most can cope well with reasonably long periods of stress, physical hardship and recover well from the emotional knocks and bruises. 

Your thirties – a time to settle?

Having reached our late twenties, we are all at an age where we are on the cusp of the next stage in life.  We have been through the investigation period of our twenties and are starting to get a feel for what we really enjoy in life, what we are prepared to put in and what we want back from life.

Many of us have plans for the future and goals we want to reach.  They may be goals related to work, such as making Director or Partner in our firms or setting up our own business, they may be more personal, such as having a family or moving to another country.  Each person is different, but nearly everyone I spoke to had some idea of what they thought an area of their future may look like.

At the weekend there was much talk, among other things, of marriage and children.  There were some who had got married, others who were getting married and then those who had decided that they might (or might not) but were going to wait a bit longer first.  Similarly, some already had children, some knew they wanted them and a few were certain they didn’t.

It seems we are all preparing to settle down and get on with the business of achieving our goals and living our adult lives.

What now?

The reunions happen once every ten years.  I’ll be interested to see what happens to everyone during the next ten years.  Both physically and in terms of those life goals.

We were all pleasantly surprised to find that nobody had changed much physically during the last ten years.  While the body is still resilient when people are in their twenties though, the thirties seem to be when life decisions start to leave their mark on the body.

Those who have chosen to go down the inactive desk-job route may start to gain weight, those who have decided to take on the whole world and climb to the top of their path in life may start to find that they can’t cope with the same levels of cortisol and stress that they could handle in their twenties, and those who choose the quiet relaxed life perhaps maintain a better figure and gain less wrinkles but may have their own unique physical stresses on the body.

How many people will be well on the way to achieving those life goals by the end of the next ten years?  How many will pursue them even if they start to feel that they are no longer right?  Will those people feel that they are now committed to those goals for the rest of their life or will they realise that they can always change their future?

Control your own future

I often hear people in their late thirties say, “I wish I had…” and, “If only I could…”.  There seems to be a great sense that while the twenties are the investigation years you have to stop and settle in your thirties. 

I may not be quite into my thirties yet, but I’m going into them believing that it doesn’t have to be that way.  I’ve seen enough people forced to change their life during their thirties or forties, through things like redundancy or forced relocation by work, to know that if you have to change your future you still can.  So what is stopping us from making those changes when we want to?

You don’t need to wait to be forced into change.  You are always in control of your own destiny and you can always choose to incorporate the things that make you happy.  It may require some planning, but there will always be a way to do it.

No related posts.